Dear Writer’s Block,
It’s not you, it’s me. I have become sick to death with you nagging into my brain that I can’t do this, because I need to do, this, this and this. Have you ever heard yourself? Sometimes you’re just a doormat, waiting to pounce on me whenever I’m ready to write, and kapow! Smack! Bang! You hit me on the head and stop me from writing – well now more! This is final – you and I are over. And let me tell you, it has not been nice knowing you. For different parts in my life you have been a constant reinforcement of my laziness or better yet, my creative juices being on strike. You need to piss off – and that is the only way I am going to eloquently put it. I believe you need time by yourself, to harass someone else with your harsh words and blocking nature. If I may put it bluntly, you were never a great friend. My pal, Creative juices over here, is a great friend. You need to understand that perhaps, it’s not you, it’s me. We’ve spent a lot of time together (some I’m not too happy about), but the time has come where you are welcomed here no more. I banish you! My dear friend – Creative juices, has returned and is ready to work with me. It is he, who I need as a writer for a friend. You, on the other hand, hold me back from my potential. Yes, you were there when I was feeling down, but didn’t you just drag this type of mood on for hours, days, weeks and months? Good riddens. Move on, because I already have.
Perhaps you need a vacation. Maybe, you need to get to know yourself more. Understand what you are doing to your friends. Go to a psychiatrist, maybe one of them might make it clearer to you of how your actions affect other people. Now, now, I know you are starting to cry (I thought you didn’t know how), but you need to stop clinging on to people. It’s a very horrid trait. I think you need an attitude and personality adjustment – to enhance yourself, or to do the complete opposite of what you are doing now – putting down people.
Finally, I really hope you do find happiness (if you are even capable of that). Hang around people who refuse to do creative writing – they would love you! They would welcome you with open arms, discuss with you all the times they had to do writing assignments for school – I think you’ll hit it off. Or maybe, you just like to be friends with people who aren’t interested in you. And when they are first overcome by you, they feel horrid that you are all on your own, and take you in – to be a nice person. And then all your negativity washes upon them, and they succumb to your belligerent attitude and lose their self esteem. NO MORE!
It. Is. Over.
With no love,
P.S. Please note, I will not be recommending you to any of my friends who are writers.
P. S. S. YOU’RE A PEST!